A Midsummer Nightmare
by blacktears
Summary: My GW version of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Warning: Yaoi/yuri. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!


Disclaimer: Gundam wing ain't mine. Midsummer Night's Dream ain't mine either. Me make no money. You no sue.   
  
Note: This is based on A Midsummer Night's Dream (duh), but it's a twisted version. Yaoi, yuri, a bit of Relena-bashing (well, sort of. She's portrayed not-so-great-here) etc. Humor is subtle in this part, but it will build (I can't wait till the Oberon/Wufei, Titania/Heero, Ass/Relena part! heehee.... got it all planned out...)**REVIEW**   
  
For those of you who know the story, this doesn't follow it EXACTLY. Now, let me tell you whose who in my version:   
Theseus (duke of Canq): Zechs (I know, Trieze might be better, but I wanted to do a   
Zechs/Noin thing. Besides, Zechs is the Lightning Count , no? bad pun-don't hurt me!)   
Hippolyta (queen of Amazons and the duke's bride): Noin   
Lysander (a lovesick person): Trowa   
Demetrius (another love sick person): Dorothy (I almost did this Heero, but I wanted Relena to be Helena, which is why I didn't. Besides, Dorothy stalks Quatre to some extent.)   
Hermia (ANOTHER love sick person): Quatre   
Helena (_ANOTHER_ love sick person): Relena Peacecraft (Relena plays two people in this, because she's a stalker and an ass and I needed more characters.)   
Egeus (father to lovesick person-Hermia aka Quatre): Quatre's father   
Philostrate (duke's master of revels): Une   
Peter Quince: Trieze (doesn't really fit the part perfectly, but needed players)   
Nick Bottom: Relena (second roll-she'll just be refered to as Relena in this one, while the other will be refered to as Relena Peacecraft-think two different people)   
Francis Flute: Catherine   
Tom Snout: Hilde   
Robin Starveling: Sally   
Snug: Rasid   
Oberon (king of fairies): Wufei   
Titania (err....queen? of fairies): Heero   
Puck (PUCK!!!! er...Robin Goodfellow-the best character in this play): Duo   
Peaseblossom; Cobweb; Moth; Mustardseed: Quatre's sisters (sorry, I don't know all their names, so I'll just pretend, k?)   
  
  
  


# A Midsummer NightMare

  


###  ACT ONE

  


####  Scene One

  
  
Zechs and Noin walked through a lush garden (secretly courtesy of Trieze-thank you, Master Trieze), with Lady Une close behind them, her head down slightly.   
  
"Our wedding day is almost here, my dear Noin," Zechs said, smiling down at his bride who clung happily to his arm, yet retained some dignity. "Only four days until the new moon rises. I can hardly wait-time is going so slow,"   
  
Noin nods slightly, looking up at the darkening sky happily. "Four days will quickly turn into nights, and we will quickly sleep through those nights. Soon, when the moon looks like a bow hung in the sky, we will wed."   
  
Zechs smiles, and kisses Noin lightly. "Lady Une," he says as he draws away. Une looks up expectantly. "Go, get the youth of Canq excited about our upcoming marrige. Make sure everyone is happy-leave sadness at funerals, we don't want any mouners at the celebration." Lady Une nods and leaves to do Lord Zech's bidding-and rodezvous with her beloved Trieze. As Une leaves, Zechs looks back at Noin with a little smile. "Noin, I might have won your heart through battle, but I will wed you with joy and festival."   
  
Zechs bends to kiss his bride, but is interupted as Quatre's father hurries in, pulling Quatre behind him. Trowa and Dorothy (glaring daggers at each other) follow them.   
  
"Lord Zechs!" Quatre's father bellows, causing the two lovers to look up from their kiss, annoyance at the interuption written on their faces.   
  
Zechs sighs and turns towards the group that hurry towards him, his arm still wrapped around his wife-to-be's waist. "Yes, person-whose-name-escapes-me, what can I do for you?"   
  
Quatre's father blinks because he thought his name would be important enough for the Lightning Count to remember, but bows instead, and starts blabbing about his troubles. "I have come to you because my son is disobaying me." Zechs rolls his eyes, and wants to tell the other man to shove it, take care of his own problems and leave him and his love alone, but instead just nods for him to continue. "I've given Dorothy Catalina permission to marry him," Dorothy smiles sweetly, like a poisonous snake. "But Quatre has fallen for the ploys of this...this horrid MAN," He points at Trowa, whose face betrays no expression.   
  
Zechs sighs and see his beloved Noin look a little annoyed at the homophobic father. "Your point-" Zechs starts, but Mr. Winner continues without sign of stopping.   
  
"YOU," He says as he releases Quatre's arm and grabs the "collar" of Trowa's turtleneck in anger. "You gave him flowers and a violin; you've played that damned flute of yours and addled his brain with your disease!" He looks back at Zechs, anger in his eyes (no, he's not foaming at the mouth-yet). "My lord Lightning Count," he says, bowing again. "I beg the ancient pre-pasifistic Canq right. Let my son either decide to marry Dorothy by the next new moon," Dorothy bats her eyebrows at the Lightning Count (oi) and smiles sweetly again. "Or have you execute him with your omnipotent, all powerful Talgeese."   
  
Zechs considers argueing, but instead sighs and nods slightly. Anything to get the annoying baka away, and be alone with Noin again. "What do you say, Quatre? Your father sould be your God," he coughs violently for a moment surrounding the phraze, then continues, ignoring the concerned eyes of Mr. Winner who doesn't see that Zechs is making fun of the man. "He gave you life, and has the right to take it away again if he wishes. Dorothy is a fine woman," He starts coughing again and Noin stiffles a laugh.   
  
"But I love Trowa," Quatre says softly, giving Trowa a warm look, which softens the other's rock-like expression. "He's a fine man,"   
  
"So he is," Zechs says, appreicativly running his eyes over the other's slender body-but a kick at his shin via Noin makes him stop. "Though nothing compaired to you, love," he whispers to Noin, causing her to blush, then returns to the problem at hand-getting Mr. Winner to leave. "But Trowa doesn't have your father's approval to be with you, so Dorothy must be regarded as the worthier of the two."   
  
Quatre glares at his father briefly. "My father is bigot. I wish he could see things my way."   
  
"I know, so do I," Zechs mutters under his breath, then sighs. "But it's not that way, so you've got to look at it from his point of view."   
  
Quatre looks from Zechs to Trowa (a smile on his lips at this) and then to Dorothy who is staring back with ill-concealed lust (in her twisted mind, Dorothy is picturing the little blond tied naked on her bed while she, leather clad with whip in hand, looms over him). Quatre whimpers at the smile she gives him and looks back at the Lightning Count. "What happens to I refuse to marry her?" he asks meakly.   
  
Zechs sighs yet again and rolls his head in order to get some of the kinks out of it (especially Dorothy-if they'd just GO!). "If you don't marry Dorothy, you either face Talgeese or life as a monk-virgin for all times."   
  
Quatre shudders at the thought of marrying the forked-browed freaky chick that stand nearby. "I'd rather become a monk than marry THAT vile creature," he mutters, loud enough for everyone present to hear.   
  
Zechs can see why the poor boy wouldn't want to marry the blond girl, so doesn't accept his descision immediatly. "Take time to reconsider-you have until my wedding day to decide," he said as he started to usher the group out of the garden (oopsies! tense change-oh well, my perogiative.)   
  
Dorothy stepped forward, closer to Quatre, who shrank away from her vileness and smell. "Come, dear Quatre," she purred, looking at him with undisguised lust and evilness. "I'll take care of you-I won't hurt, too bad. And you, Trowa," her eyes flicked up to the tall pilot who stared back calmly. "Leave my Quatre-chan alone!"   
  
Trowa looked down at the pair of furious eyes without expression. "You have Mr. can't-remember-his-name Winner's love, let me have Quatre. Why don't you marry Quatre's father? He's not _ that_ old." Zechs grinned at this, liking the Gundam pilot more as he spoke-damn, if he was good in bed, it was a deal that Zechs wouldn't refuse himself. For her part, Dorothy grimanced (the picture of Mr. Winner in a leather thong wasn't in the least bit pleasing to her, apparently).   
  
"Yeah, Trowa," Quatre's father growled, still glaring at the calm boy that Quatre was in love with. "She has my love-and so I'm going to give Quatre to her. He's mine to give, after all."   
  
Noin gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "bullshit," and the Lightning Count beant over her to cover the laughter that threatened to erupt at the little tiff.   
  
Trowa turned to the other man, focusing his eyes-er, eye-on the hard, angry face. "I am from as good a family as he," he said, dispite the fact that he probably wasn't (who knows, with Trowa?). "I've got money," (or he could, if he disired it. Having a Gundam to play around with had advantages). "And I don't have those eyebrows," Dorothy's forked eyebrows twitched with irritation. "I love Quatre more than she does, so I'm equal, if not better than, that bitch. Besides, Dorothy has courted, and bedded Relena Peacecrap, who now worships her," A small smile spread on Dorothy's face at the thought of her pet/toy, Relena Peacecrap, while Quatre, Quatre's father (whose name STILL is being forgotten-someone want to tell me it, please?) and Zechs gag at the thought of the ugly Relena Peacecrap submitting to the equally ugly Dorothy.   
  
Zechs sighed. "I must say, I have heard about that little affair, and I was going to ask Dorothy about it," The last part was a giant lie-Talgeese's pilot didn't want to think about it enough to actually talk to the freaky girl about it, but he said that anyhow. "But I haven't had a chance. Still, fair Quatre," Noin kicked him again, this time with the toe of her steel-toed boots. Hopping slightly in pain, Zechs continued. "I can't change the ancient Canq law-choose-marrage to Dorothy; death or becoming a monk. Now, if that's all,"   
  
"No, my lord," Quatre's father spoke up, ignoring the exasperated look that his words earned him. "I wish to talk to you further about you marrage and this problem..."   
  
Zechs sighed, realizing that he wasn't about to get the time he wanted alone. "Fine," he muttered. "You, Winner-man, come with me. You too, Dorothy. And you," he kissed Noin and started out of the garden.   
  
"We're coming!" Mr. Winner said and followed. Dorothy gave Trowa a last venomous glare before leaving him and Quatre alone in the fregrent garden.   
  
As soon as the others were out of site, Quatre walked to Trowa and embraced him, hiding his pale face in the flolds of the other's turtleneck. His arms wrapping around his koi, Trowa spoke. "Whats wrong, little one?" he asked, dispite the fact that he knew the answer. "Whats made the roses fade so fast?"   
  
Quatre sighed, resting his head on Trowa's chest. "Probably lack of rain, though my tears could easily change that,"   
  
Stroking his love's head, Trowa nodded. "The course of true love-or war-never ran smooth," he whispered. "The reason your father dilikes me might be a class difference,"   
  
"How horrid," Quatre whispered, tears forming in his aquamarine eyes. "Being born so high that love for a commoner is forbidden,"   
  
"Or the lack of differences in our sex,"   
  
Quatre giggled faintly, thinking about his love's sex (gender, hentai! GENDER). "How cruel," he whispered in a softer voice. "To be too male to marry someone else male," Hmm....maybe a sex change operation would work-he did have the money, of course.   
  
"Or," Trowa continued to think. "Your relatives had something to say,"   
  
"It's not their choice to make" Quatre sighed, the thoughts of naked Trowa and his...er....gender...evaporating from his head.   
  
"Or, if none of those things are the reason," Trowa said, as he continued to play with his koi's hair gently. "Then perhaps it has something to do with the war,"   
  
Quatre shook his head against the other's chest, getting a small mouthful of shirt in the process, then pulled away slightly. "If true love has always been hindered so, then it must be a rule of life. We'll bear this patiently, and all will work out well." He finished, ever the optimist.   
  
Trowa smiled wrily. "Listen, Quatre-kun, the circus is in town, and they are as close as family to me. They would take care of us, and are leaving soon, to where Canq law cannot follow them. If you love me, then sneak away from your father's house tomorrow night and meet me in the woods where we once met with Relena Peacecrap, and we will be wed,"   
  
A small smile flit over Quatre's delecate features. "I swear, dear Trowa, by cupid's strongest bow and truest arrow, by all the vows that straight men had ever broken (so many more than us even made) that I will meet you there, tomorrow."   
  
Trowa smiled (OMG, he SMILED!). "Keep your pormise, watashi no koibito," he said softly, bending to kiss his koi, when something caught his eye and his blank mask slipped over his face once again. "Oh look," he said in a dead-sounding voice. "It's Relena Peacecrap."   
  
True enough, Relena Peacecrap had just entered the garden, her light brown hair swinging behind her. "Heeeer-I mean, Doooorrrothyy!" she called.   
  
Quatre turned his his lover's arms to see the girl lok under a stone for her lost Mistress. "Hello, fair," behind Quatre, Trowa involentarily gagged at the fib. "Relena Peacecrap. Where are you going?"   
  
Her eyes blazing with some hiden anger, Relena Peacecrap advanced on poor Quatre-kun. "Who do you call 'fair'?" She asked, scorn filling her voice. "Take that back! Dorthy loves how YOU look, your fortunate, innocent beauty! To her, your eyes are magnetic, your speech is more appealing than my screams," Trowa gagged again, but for a completely different reason this time. "Sickness is infectious, I wish looks were too, then I could have your innocence and Dorothy would love me again. Teach me how you catch her eyes, teach me to look like you and win over Dorothy's love."   
  
"I frown at him, but he still loves me." Quatre told his (:::cough:::: :::hack:::) friend (ahem.) in a flattish voice.   
  
"You haven't been broken yet," Trowa whispered into his koi's hair as explanation. "And I'll never let you be!" Quatre hid a smile as Relena Peacecrap spoke.   
  
"I wish you would teach my smiles such tricks," she said in her most sappy, annoying voice.   
  
Quatre shook his head slightly. "I curse him, yet she loves me,"   
  
Again, Trowa whispered a scret in his lovers hair-but I'm not saying what this one is (o.O no, it isn't that obvious.)   
  
"I wish my prayers could generate such love!" Relena Peacecrap was sighing.   
  
Quatre frowned, wishing that the annoying bitch of a girl would get it through her head that the frowns and curses were WHY Dorothy liked him. "The more I HATE her, the more she FOLLOWS me."   
  
"She's dense, Quatre, don't bother trying to explain," Trowa whispered to his lover.   
  
"The more I love her, the more she hates me," Relena Peacecrap seemed near blubbering.   
  
Quatre sighed and gave up wit ha shake of her head. "Her sick, sadism isn't my fault." he said.   
  
"Yes it is!" Relena Peacecrap yelled. "It's your beauty's fault!"   
  
"Take comfort," Innocent Quatre, who never thought that someone would double cross him, told her. "She won't see my face again-Trowa and I are running away to join the circus! Tomorrow night, we're meeting in the woods, and then we won't bother any further. Oh my, I've got to pack!" Turning, Quatre gave Trowa a kiss (that lasted several minutes longer than he'd intended). After they were forced to come up for air, the angelic boy sprinted out of the garden to pack his collection of pink shirts and purple vests.   
  
Trowa watched his little one leave, then turned back to Relena Peacecrap. "Good bye, bitch. You and Dorothy deserve each other-I hope all works out for you." He said, then, out of breath from so much talking, the king of hair gel also left the garden.   
  
Devious wheels withing Relena Peacecrap's head were turning, but since I hate her, I'm gonna skip her little monologue. After the scene cut, Relena Peacecrap leaves, once again calling for her Dorothy to come and hurt her.   
  
  
  
  
  
OMG, this is gonna take forEVER!!! Anyhow, if you got through all that, PLEASE REVIEW. :::Whimpers::: please?


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